Saturday, October 26, 2013

How to Handle Infidelity

Surviving an affair means among other things that you are paying for someone else's failure.
There will be plenty of work to be done after the extramarital relationship because due to your actions you've done a lot of damage to your marital relationship which is hanging by a strand
Yet after discussing the situation with your mate they have made up their mind to stick with you. That means there is a lot of hard work ahead regarding coping with infidelity. In spite of true love as well as effort there are no guarantees that life will ever get back to normal or even that the spousal relationship itself will carry on. Even so to ensure that it does move in the right direction and beyond you will need to be ready to agree to particular guidelines.

1. Stop The Dishonesty

No question fabrication was a huge part of your toolkit. Let's be perfectly frank you can't successfully carry on a marital affair without it.

Yet making it through an extramarital relationship means it must stop now if you want to get back your significant other's trust. Any kind of lie regardless of how small that gets found out is only going to wreck any attempt to repair the marital relationship. In case your mate catches you in a small white fib then most likely they may believe you're being misleading regarding other issues.

And please, none of that self-delusional nonsense. You lied to shield them or you didn't believe that it was an issue. All of it amounts to the very same thing which is you're returning to your old ways of deception which drove you to have an affair to begin with. The old saying telling the truth is still the best policy must be the foundation stone of your marriage when it relates to getting over cheating.

2. No Self-Pity

It may seem that all the profound changes in lifestyle you are forced to go through along with the monitoring system needed to keep track of your behavior is not in accordance what you did. So you begin to feel sorry for yourself. You even attempt to diminish what you did. Cheating on your mate was not so bad you tell yourself. Definitely not as compared to what you are forced to undergo at this juncture. 

Stop right there. You're not the victim here and pretending that you are is only going to block the healing. Step back and make the concerted effort to not concentrate on you. Instead concentrate on your mate and the way they feel. In surviving an affair rebuilding the spousal relationship is the work of both individuals but the person impacted the most is your spouse whom you cheated on.

3. You Are Not The Decider

You come to a time during this rehab phase and make a decision that things are back to what they used to be so you start slacking on a few things. Absolutely wrong. It is important to accept the fact you are likely to munch on humble pie for some time. Just how long is awhile? Until your mate determines. It's about them feeling better not you.

Overcoming an affair means they essentially are in charge of how things will go. Yes they need to obtain your suggestions from time to time but in the end it's up to them. You can easily check out how things are going on occasion but don't seek to hurry the process or try to mold your spouse into seeing things your way. To be frank you did enough manipulating while you were cheating.

4. Be Attentive

There are certainly likely to be times when your mate wishes to vent. It is oftentimes a very essential recovery activity for surviving cheating. That may entail they talk about what you did again and again. Be prepared to pay close attention regardless of how frequently they bring it up. You wounded them deeply so discussing it again and again is a method to work through the anguish.

Do not assume your spouse to talk about it several times and then feel 100% better. A lot of people have to attend therapy for many years to deal with overcoming unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness in a spousal relationship can ruin not only someone's self-esteem but destroy the psyche to the point all they can think about is what their mate did. It is an uncomfortable process you you placed them in so be ready whenever required to provide your undivided attention.
by Daryl Campell Article Source: Photo credit: 

Friday, October 25, 2013

Witches on Broomsticks and the X-Rated Truth

**Maybe.  Maybe not.  You can't know for sure unless you were there, but this is an interesting, if not odd, possibility.

Witches on Broomsticks and the X Rated Truth

Expert Author Michelle Haskins
Witches have always been depicted as ugly hideous beings that could cast spells on people and turn themselves into animals, such as black cats. We also know them as women that ride on broomsticks through the night sky with the moon at their backs. Why? How did it come to be that witches were immortalized with broomsticks? Has anyone ever seen a witch actually flying around? More than likely they have not.
The truth of the matter is in no way pretty, nor is it G rated. Long ago witches could have been considered the hippies of their time. They believed in using herbal medicine to cure many different types of ailments. At the same time they also believed they could cast spells upon people with the same theory. Hence the term witches brew for the concoctions that were created by them. Some of the main ingredients in these concoctions were animal body parts and organs as well as plants and plant extract. Soon it was discovered that certain plants could give a person a sense of euphoria when it was ingested, such as jimson weed or deadly night shade.
As the practice became more popular it was discovered that there was a down side. If too much of one plant was ingested through the stomach at once the results could be fatal. Soon witches realized that it could be ingested through various glands in the human body foregoing the metabolizing effect from the liver. They soon began creating creams and "ointments" from the plant extracts and rubbing them in their armpits and vaginas.
Witches then began to cover broomsticks with these creams and ointments. They would then straddle the staff and rub it on their vaginas, taking them to state of euphoria so that they appeared to be dancing or riding on their brooms. Depending on the amount that had been absorbed onto their body they may have felt as if they were indeed, flying.
We can look back through ancient art history and find paintings that lean towards this theory. There are several paintings that depict witches in the nude with their broomsticks. One painting in particular depicts an entire room of witches dancing around a room with their broomsticks, completely nude.
Luckily, we have evolved over time and now simply view witches as ugly women who have black cats and warts on the end of their noses, using their brooms only for the purpose of transportation.
Get some great ideas for Halloween this year. Spook Here If You Dare
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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Fall In Love On The Bus

“For me happiness occurs arbitrarily: a moment of eye contact on a bus, where all at once you fall in love; or a frozen second in a park where it's enough that there are trees in the world.” - Russell Brand

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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Wonder Woman? Hot or Cold?

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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

How Can Newlyweds Set Up Their Marriage to Succeed?

**We had some technical difficulties; therefore, the audio/video is out of sync.  But, the information is great.  So, listen anyway :)

Talking with Marian Meade, a mindful marriage coach, we discussed the importance of preparing for a good marriage versus just blindly going in and expecting it to be happily ever after.

In this interview, we share a few tips to help newlyweds (or soon to be) to set up their marriage for success!  
Watch now! 
Find out more about Marian at 

Monday, October 21, 2013

Love Doesn't Move In Straight Line

"Love is not linear. Sex is not rational. Emotions won't cooperate with the mind's methodical attempts to analyze lust's sticky substance.  The brain will not sit idly by and watch while the heart, lungs, groin, and guts break from convention and dive headlong into the sensual experience."  
-- Stephanie DeRosier via The Marriage of Sex and Spirit

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Nature Lovers - A Special Ceremony For The Two of You

Recently Rob and I drove from Colorado to Montana (to the west side of Glacier National Park...almost to Canada) so I could perform the wedding ceremony for two of my dearest friends.  

They are huge nature lovers!  Therefore, I thought I would share this Intimate Adventure that I wrote a couple of years back in honor of them and their love (for each other and for nature). 

Intimate Adventures are sacred ceremonies for couples. They take ordinary life and make them special. Allowing both partners to enjoy the connection they share. With the vision of creating a warm and wonderful spot of couples to journey together Intimate Adventures offers these suggestions of ceremonies for the two of you to enjoy.

Nature Lovers is a way to bring the beauty and power of nature into your relationship. With each falling leave we learn,
 with each rock we find adventure. Our relationship is nature so why do we not invite nature into our relationship. 

Check it out here... Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble