Thursday, April 26, 2012

Embarrassed by Your Mate?

Groom's reaction to Best Man's speech

At some point or another it is highly likely that your lover is going to or has done something or said something that seriously embarrasses you (and maybe himself/herself too).  He/she may share something very personal - maybe too personal - in public or with a group of friends or family.  Maybe your partner has gotten drunk and acted like a complete fool.  Or maybe he/she has had an angry outburst or even told a joke that was offensive to those around you.

What do you do when or if that happens?  

  1. Your partner needs to know how it has made you feel.  Yet, this shouldn't be an attack on your partner.  Do not accuse him/her of anything.  Just make sure you let him or her know that it was highly embarrassing to you or hurt your feelings.  This should be done when the two of you are alone so that you may talk about it.  Reacting angrily at him/her in front of others is not going to help either of you.
  2. If your partner has offended someone else, is it up to you to apologize to that person?  You can, but the apology is not going to come with as much sincerity than if your partner apologizes for the blunder.
  3. Once the two of you have gotten past this episode let it go.  Do not bring this back up into future disagreements.  The only time this might be appropriate is if your partner doesn't respect your feelings and continually embarrasses you either on purpose or by being thoughtless.  It is important to remind him/her how this makes you feel.  But, I repeat that ONLY if this happens numerous times should you mention previous times.  Throwing up the past doesn't typically benefit either of you.  
Photo from Creative Commons by Andy Bullock

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