We all know that chivalry is almost dead. Partly because people are selfish now and partly because women don't want to be made to feel like they are less then men. What ever the reason you shouldn't take it into your bedroom. By this I mean you should focus on the woman's sexual needs first then the mans. Why you might ask? Simple it takes the woman much longer to heat up sexually then the man in most cases. She needs to be heated up much like you heat your oven before you cook in it. Men on the other hand and ready to go as soon as the clothes hit the floor, so they are like a microwave. This is why we focus on the women first giving them time to enjoy the whole intimacy. Gone are the days when the guy finishes and rolls over to go to sleep. The women need satisfaction, too. Not all women need to orgasm to enjoy sex but you still need to give them that chance. I suggest always start by focusing on the woman's enjoyment, men you know you will be ready when she is so just be a little patient. The more you warm her up the better your cooking will be.
Now if you in a same sex relationship then you just have to decide who takes longer and start with them.