Saturday, June 26, 2010

Enjoy time off.

The last thing that we ever want in a relationship is to have changes effect us. Things like losing your job can really test a relationship. Both of you have to be prepared for a change like this and securing a new job is a task in itself. The one thing you need to do to make this time less stressful is to make sure to enjoy the extra time you have together. Take time to do things that you might not be able to once you are back to work. Like day time walks or staying up late to watch a movie. Keep you job search in the for front but take the time to enjoy and rekindle your relationship. The job will come but they time you enjoy together just might be more important.

Friday, June 25, 2010

I did it my way?

Frank Sinatra and Sid Vicious both sang about how they did it their way. While this is okay and perfectly fine of an individual that only is concerned with their actions. When we are a couple however we can act as individuals or we can form a co-op if you will. Putting the good of your relationship ahead of the good of each other is the way for both of you to get ahead. When you look at decisions from the perspective of how it will effect the both of you as a couple things are a little more open and easy to access. When you jump into a decision without thinking about how it will effect both of you then that is when problems come up. Believe you me I have had my share of leaping before I looked and in hind sight I will always try to look from now on. Our life here is way to short to not enjoy the special things like your relationship.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Do you really listen?

When you partner begins to talk about what they are interested in do you really listen? Are you interested in what they are saying and if not are you courteous enough to be interested in them? We have this flaw in our make up that only wants us to be interested in what WE are interested in. While our partner is talking about something they are passionate about we are in our mind wondering what time the game comes on, or how much work we have to do later. We don't really give them the courtesy of listening and trying to enjoy what they are diving into. Listen to your conversations and see if you quickly change the subject as your partner is discussing their topic. Here is a trick I have learned to try and get more involved in what my partner is speaking about. After you partner tells you about something that is of interest to them, ask a question about it. It doesn't have to be a in depth question but it does need to be one that seeks more understanding. Start making it a point to question you partner and get them to give you a little more information before you start talking about your interests. Doing this will not only show your partner that you care but it might just get you a little more understanding as to why they care.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Temperature of romance

We all have a specific temperatures that we are comfortable with be it during the day or in the evening when we are trying to sleep. We also all have temperatures that we like to make love in or snuggle at so do a little research and find the best temperatures for you and your partner. Hit the air conditioning if you partner doesn't like sweaty sex. Keep the thermostat turned down cooler in those winter months to encourage your partner to snuggle. Turn the air conditioning down to get your partner into wearing less clothes around the house. Heck you can even turn the heat up in the winter and wear you swimsuits around. Have fun with this little adjusting of the temperature. Make it hot then when you partner complains tell them "Well maybe you should have so many clothes on!" with a raised eyebrow.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Make your feeling known by using signs.

It is hard to figure out men and it is hard to figure out women. Now throw in a wonderful relationship and you have to constantly try to figure things out. There is a great way to inform you partner of you wants or desires without just blurting them out. Some people are uncomfortable with just speaking their feelings, but since this is the best way to get your feelings across, what do you do? Well I want to suggest making up signs for things so that you partner doesn't have to guess what you want or desire. You can have as many of these signs as you want just make sure they are clear and to the point for you mate. For instance if you are feeling like a little intimacy hang your bra or underwear on the bedroom door. Once you partner sees this they know you intentions and don't have to wonder if your in the mood or not. Say you feel like going on a date, you could lay out the movie ads with your keys placed on them. Maybe you need some alone time, then borrow a do not disturb sign from a hotel and give that to your partner so they know you don't want to be disturbed. You can make up as many of these bold statements as you want and you might just find that you partner will do the same. You will eliminate the asking over and over again for things. Plus you will get right to the point when you want something.

Monday, June 21, 2010

A little please goes a long way.

One thing that we take for granted in a relationship is basic manners. Think about it when is the last time you said please and thank you to your partner. Well if you are lacking in this department you need to start focusing on it. Start ending each request of your partner with please, and make sure to thank them when they complete any task that benefits you. Now all of the sudden you are asking for a favor instead of barking out an order. For example check out the difference in these two statements, "Make sure you take the deposit to the bank" or "Could you take this deposit to the bank, please?" Wow what a difference a couple of words can make it can change the whole feeling of the words. Next time you catch yourself falling in this trap just make the adjustment and start adding please and thank you to your requests.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Discuss bad dreams.

We all have bad dreams from time to time. They might even be bad about your relationship. The first thing you need to remember is that these are only dreams and they might have deeper meanings then just the surface meaning. I feel it is important to discuss these dreams with your partner so that you see they are not real. Dreams can be funny things they can give a glimpse into what is going on in our lives. However you can't dwell on them if something bad happens but they should make you aware of your life a little more. Maybe, just maybe you dream is trying to tell you something. If it is about your partner maybe your not giving them enough attention or that you have had negative feelings. Again I feel it is important to discuss these dreams with your partner and get clear on them.