Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fights are like weeds in your garden!

Farmers can grow the most perfect garden in the world but occasionally a few weeds will pop up. This is the same with fights in your relationship, no matter how strong your relationship is from time to time a fight will break out. Usually these will take the form of an argument and they can be short lived or long and drawn out, that is up to the individuals. If you go into a relationship with the delusion of never having a fight then you are not very realistic. Fights sometimes help clear the air and get things out in the open. There are some important things you need to know when a fight does accrue. First and for most stay away from personal attacks, don't just throw things out in the middle of an argument that don't pertain to the situation. Things like your fat, or stupid or both fat and stupid are not important and will really harm your relationship down the road. Stick with the subject and focus on that. Second, don't let the fight consume you so that you break down the lines of communication, not speaking to each other is the worst type of fight because no resolution will ever be made. If you need time to get away from the situation take a little but make sure to let your partner know how long you will be gone. Lastly and this is a hard one, try to wait for make up sex until the day after you make up. You don't want to associate great sex with a fight and you don't want to fall into that trap of, "we need to fight to have great sex" Set your boundaries and agree at a time when you are not fighting that disagreements will not ruin your relationship, set up a way to discuss the issues in a calm manner so that both partners get a say in the outcome. With a little work your fights can become little more then heated debates.

Artwork above titled Disagreement between Sum of all Parts by Jeff Tanger

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