Friday, November 6, 2009
Nothing upsets me more then to see a couple spending time in separate rooms of the house. Sure their are times when you have to be in different rooms. Times like when one of you is doing the laundry and the other is cleaning the living room is understandable. Why, however to people split apart when they are reading or even taking a nap. Being in the same room might take a little getting use to but think about how really little time the two of you are together. Why not read your book sitting next to your partner while they watch their football game, or take your nap next to them while they are reading. Snuggle up to each other, I personally believe that if you touch even a little you are better connected to each other. Wouldn't it be nice to wake up next to your partner after you take a little snooze during a lazy sunday afternoon. I also believe that if your partner touches you in just a loving way that you will be more relaxed and calm. Call me crazy but I believe that a relationship is doesn't or shouldn't get old the longer it goes. If you are having trouble enjoying the company of your partner maybe you need to look at yourself first to see where your trouble lies. Your in a relationship for gosh sakes enjoy it there are many people out their wishing for what you have so don't take it for granted. Snuggle up and find the best way for the two of you to fit together.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
You know how you back up the files on your computer so you don't lose anything, if your system crashes. Well you need to do the same thing with your relationship. Sometimes we forget all the wonderful moments we have had together. We lose the sight of how special the person we are with is and all the wonderful things they have done. When you get to this point, it is time to reboot our feelings and remember and understand why we are with this person. Think back to the times when you were first dating and the things that drove you wild about this person. I bet if you look closely you will see that those qualities are still there, plus a lot of other ones that you have experienced during your time together. This is a great exercise to perform if you are currently stalling in your relationship. We all get comfortable and lazy so reboot your feelings and start over with that same person. Be silly with them like you were during the first few months of your relationship. Was there something special you did for them during those early stages, if so revisit that. We can't always look forward in your relationship without looking back to see what got us to this point.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
When you are in a relationship you have to become each others support for the relationship to thrive. We all have fears and are timid about tyring something new, looking for a new job, or even learning. Deep down inside our minds we know the thing we are striving for is a step in the right direction. We still are timid about getting out of our comfort zone, so we start popping ideas into our head things like "What if this doesn't work?" or "How could I possibly have time to take that class?" We put these fears in our mind as a defense to help us stay in the position that we are that our mind feels is comfortable. This is where our partner can be such a big help. The are not our mind and they will view the idea as what it is worth. Sure they might have some doubts but when we address them most often we see that they are the same fears we have.
This help to put things in perspective and with your partners support, it gives you all the more reason to pursue the thing you are looking to accomplish. When we become a couple we do more sharing then you realize. Sharing our fears and dreams are part of a relationship. Yes, you can both have dreams that are not the same but with extra support from a loving partner it makes it so much easier to go for it. Another great benefit is that if your partner and you are both on the same page for making a change then you get added support when you venture out to achieve your goal. You partner will understand if it puts more on their plate to do chores while you are studying or that you need a little extra time to read or go for an interview. These items not only will benefit you personally but it will benefit you both as a couple. Now, the next time your partner tells you something drastic they want to change, you need to help them figure out a way the two of you can handle this change. Then TOGETHER you can reap the benefits of this change when it happens. Sometimes you have to take some chances to get ahead, and they are scary but with the added support of your partner they don't seem quite as bad.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
When we think about dating we usually think of hitting the hot spots. The night clubs that are jumping or the new fad places that every one is attending. If you in a relationship or really wanting to get to know this person, why would you want to go to a place that has music playing so loud that you can't even hear yourself, let alone the person your with. Sure if you want to go out dancing this is a great place, but if your focus is getting to know someone or spending some quality time with them then this is not the place. What you need to find is a quiet little bar or restaurant where you can sit and have a great conversation. Maybe they might have some televisions on for people to watch, as long as they are not blaring. There are many of these places around that you can just relax and enjoy your conversation and time with your special someone. If a bar is not what you had in mind you could look for places such as coffee shops, book stores, or even internet cafes. All of which give you a chance to hear and be heard. Look for places the two of you can call your own, don't pick a place that has no business, as it might not be there next week. Pick a place that has a steady flow of people but isn't crammed. Think of places that might have out door seating for the warmer times of the year. Remember that you want you partner to focus on you during this time and vice versa so don't pick places with to much going on it will only end up biting you in the end.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Do you have problems in your relationship? Who doesn't, but the way you handle them could make the difference between a break up and relationship to die for. When you have a problem with your partner what do you do? Do you constantly badger them to get them to change? Troubles in a relationship takes effort from both partners. Compromises must be met to keep the relationship strong and healthy. Baring anything illegal you should be prepared to make compromises to make the most of your relationship. Do you have a partner that likes to stay out late with his/her friends. Well making them quite that cold turkey will only make them resent this action. Set limits that you both can live with, if they want to go out with friends one night them make them take you for a special evening before they meet up with their friends again. This type of action says I don't want to change you but I want us to work out. Same thing if you partner wants to have intimate relationships with you more then you want. The both of you should come to an agreement and you should stick to it. If you are not willing to put effort into your problems then you are not truly giving your relationship a fair shake. It is easy to sit back and tell someone what you want them to do but you can't feel how they view it or how much it hurts them to be told that what they feel is wrong. If you need help dealing with issues their are many qualified persons available to help in your relationship, so don't be afraid to seek help that might save your relationship.