Saturday, July 25, 2009

Fishing for Conversation.

Need an activity that helps improve your conversation between the two of you? Try Fishing, fishing allows plenty of time to get to know each other again. You most often have long periods of quiet time that allows for conversation to fill it. You don't see people just sitting quietly while they are fishing. This makes for a great time to talk about something important also. You are usually secluded in a way from the rest of the world. You can be on the banks of a lake or out in your boat and it is like you are the only two people on earth. Sure you will have to cast or reel in a big fish from time to time. The conversation time is all the time you are waiting for these things to happen.

So if you need to talk or just get reacquainted, grab your fishing pole and some bait and head out to the lake. Most likely you will come back with a better understanding of each other. Plus fishing is rated as one of the most relaxing things you can do, so it has double the benefits.

Friday, July 24, 2009

You were in my dream last night....

I don't know about you but sometimes I dream about my partner. Sometimes they are sexual dreams and sometimes they are just silly dreams. I think, however that it is important to tell your partner about these dreams. That way they know that subconsciously they we are thinking about them. Explain the dream to them and see what they think it meant. You can even purchase books that have some basic explanations for certain types of dreams. I however think it is better to try to come up with the meaning on your own. Now if it is a sexual dream it might be pretty straight forward. Encourage you partner to tell you about when you are in their dreams also. Maybe even start a dream log to see if you can connect the dreams to things that will happen in the future. This is one of those things you can share as a couple and no one else has to know, it's like your little secret. Dream can have many meanings and each interpretation is different so do you best and see what happens as to what your dream meant.

Clicking on the title of this post will take you to a dream dictionary to help find out what your dreams are suppose to mean.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Make your partner one of your buddies.

Can you make your partner one of your buddies? You sure can. The first thing you have to do is not act differently when you are with your buddies, if your partner is there. Don't spend all the time with your partner, and talk to your buddies as if they were one of them. All of you go to a ballgame or out for drinks. You can build a special bond with your special someone if you include them in events like this. You partner will feel as if you trust them to hang out with your friends and that you are not embarrassed by this. Sure there are times when you need to be away from each other and you have to set those boundaries. Say for instance a group of women are going on their annual Christmas shopping spree. Bringing your partner along on a tradition you have would be not a good idea. Vice versa if the man and his friends go on a fishing trip once a year, a partner would most likely chance the trip for the people involved. So set these boundaries and be considerate of your partners feelings in these matters. Going to a ballgame or talking in a show are great opportunities to get all the people you care about involved. Have cookouts and invite them over for drinks. Maybe with a little work you can integrate all your friends and have great get together with them. Just know where to draw the line and don't step on any toes.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Where does sex fall in a relationship!

The great debate will always continue. How much sex is enough and how much is not enough? We can argue this point until the cows come home. Here is my take the amount of sex you have should be a compromise between the two of you. If you want it every night and your partner only wants it once a month then it is your jobs to find a happy medium. Maybe it won't work out perfectly but you have to keep trying to have a solid relationship. First of all sex is good for both of you and should be look at like a vitamin. It actually has some of the properties of a vitamin. It releases chemicals into your body that promotes relaxation and decreases stress. It also makes you closer to your partner. I hear the rumblings now, and yes there is a lot more to a relationship then just having sex. However sex is part of the equation and just like any math you have to have all the variables to make the problem come out right.

Now say one partner doesn't want sex as much as the other. That doesn't mean they can't work something out to make both of them happy. Sending someone away to masturbate is not the answer that only builds up a wall. If masturbation would help your situation it should be done together, even if only one person is getting the satisfaction. If you choice is you don't want to then you shouldn't deprive your partner. Let them do it in front of you, or help them being part of their sexual activity is important. Even if it's not the normal form of sex you still need to make sure your partner is happy in this respect.

Now on the other hand you can't expect your partner to be at your beck and call. You have to give them space. You also have to show a little control, most people are not addicted to sex but there are those that are. Understand that you to have to give in to your partner also. So that means sometimes you don't get to have the sex you want. Deal with it, as we mentioned above sex is not the only variable in the relationship equation. Explore some of the other facets of your life and do something fun together.

My opinion is that every third day you should have sex. This gives you time to build up and get excited over it and also allows the partner that doesn't need it as much to relax and not worry about it. Keep a calendar, the partner that wants sex more will be a little more relaxed themselves if they know tomorrow they get to make love to you. This may sound silly but several of the top names say you should schedule your sex. Dr. Laura Berman is a big advocate of this. For those excited to have sex it gets them focused on that day and they others they can enjoy without the concern or wondering. As for the partner that doesn't want sex as much it also allows them to enjoy the other two days getting what they want. After all isn't a relationship give and take, sharing, and commitment?

I have attached a link in the title of this post that will take you to a blog that is a little on the controversial side to me. However I feel it is good to see several sides of this issue, even the religious one. This Reverend has some really good points and some not so good ones so take it with a grain of salt. Pick out some things from this post and use them and throw out the ones you believe to be bulls***.

Here is my formula for creating the best sex life within a relationship. Both of you write down the number of times a week you would like to have sex. Zero is not an acceptable answer. then add the two numbers together and divide by 2 this is the number of times you should have sex a week. Now be realistic don't say you want to sex 15 times a week. Here is another rule if anyone says over 5 times a week they are disqualified and you go with the other number. A good example would be: Partner A says 4 times a week and Partner B says 1 time a week. So with the formula we get 2.5 times a week. Do not drop the decimal or would up. What we do in this case is we make love 5 times every two weeks. 3 times one week and 2 times the other.

Now this has to be a commitment. Both partners have to agree and their should be penalties in place if either partner breaks the rules. If partner A tries to get sex more then the number agreed upon then they should lose on sexual encounter the next week. Following suit if partner b decides that they are only going to do it one time this week then an extra time will be added the following week. Again keep a calendar a visual representation will help keep both of you focused. If a problem does arise that isn't either of your faults then concessions should be made and you should schedule a make up date. That sounded really like a baseball thing.

In closing take the sexual frequency debate out of the relationship. Know when you are going to have sex and pay the consequences if you don't follow through. Once you get these area out of your problem box think about how much time you will have to enjoy other things in your relationship? Please send me your feelings on this subject and how you deal with this problem I would love to hear how others cope and deal with it.

Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk

It amazes me how couples treat each other. The other night we were with several other couples and I listen to one woman down grade her husband with him sitting right in front of her. Well as the night went on other couples came and went. Until it was finally just a few of us. That is when my mouth almost hit the floor. The woman who was down grading her husband in front of everyone said "I can't believe the way so and so treated her boyfriend." She went on, "I feel sorry for him, they way she talked about him" I couldn't believe my ears, this lady had done the exact same thing. So either she didn't really care about her husband or she didn't even realize what she was saying.

My point here is that you cannot have a solid relationship if you view your partner as baggage. If that is the way you feel about your relationship, then you should be wondering why you feel that way. If you really don't realize that you are doing it then hopefully someday you will step back and see it from the other perspective. Before it is to late. People's feelings are fragile and what you might say in jest can really hurt sometimes. So be careful of what you say to your mate, you might not mean anything by it but they may not see it that way.
Thanks for the picture from Flickr and RussellJSmith

Monday, July 20, 2009

Be Sexy all Day long.

You know being sexy shouldn't just start when you hit the bedroom. You should get your partner ready all day long. Yes, it is okay to tease them if your intentions are good. Kisses their neck, rub your hand across their butt, or just wink at them from across the living room. Let them know that tonight they are going to be one lucky person. If they respond a little to much on the attack side, tell them to slow down they will get what they want. They just have to be patient. Make this last all day and when you finally get them in the bedroom take your time there also. Slow it down to a crawl. Yes, you will be driving them wild but it will be so worth it for both of your when you get there.

You can put sex into anything you do you just have to think about it a little. Eating a hot dog can drive your man wild, playing with a woman's hair is a real turn on, walk out of the shower naked and surprise them or just tell them how sexy they look today. Let them catch you looking at them. This not only should get you feeling horny but it should also make your partner feel very special. You can find many ways to be sexy by going to the amazon sight on the sidebar and purchase some of the books I have marked.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Time to get your pictures organized.

Okay you are now a couple no matter how long you have been a couple you need to start putting your memories in order. By memories I mean pictures. If you have not purchased or own a camera do it today and start caring it with you no matter where you go. Take pictures when one of your sings karaoke, when you go on vacation, or at family functions or holidays. Then you need to find a good storage system for these pictures that allows you easy access to them at anytime. Today with digital pictures you can even store them on a form of media as long as you keep it safe. It may seem like a pain in the butt to organize the pictures after each event but believe me you will be glad you did ten years down the road. If you don't you will be finding pictures and wondering when and where they were taken. If nothing else at least but a date on them and a brief description of what was happening. Sometimes our memories will pull up all the details form the past but sometimes we need a little refresher. Document the special and not so special times of your relationship, it will be worth it when you can bore your grandchildren by showing them every step of your life.