The Scarlet Letter

You may have had to read the book, The Scarlet Letter, at some point during your school years. If not, here is my brief over view. A woman commits adultery and has to wear a scarlet letter “A” on all her clothes. Mind you, we are not going to confess our sins on our clothing, but we are going to use it to tell our partner what we want. So start searching through your clothes for ones that have letters on them. If you don't have any with letters, then just go buy some cloth or foam letters at your local discount store. You can make variations to this by putting the letters on the headboard or on the mirror in the bathroom. Especially if you want this to remain a secret and not have other people asking why you are wearing letters on your clothes.

Before you pick your first letter you either need to make a master list of what each letter stands for, or slowly add letters to the first one during certain times of the day to spell out what you would like. You could even possibly text the letter using your phone to your partner. A master list could go as follows. D might mean you would like to have a nice DINNER out. W could mean you would like to take a WALK later. S might mean meet me later for SEX or HS could add to the suggestion as HOT SEX. Pick a specific day to try your scarlet letter activity and maybe do it once a month so that each of you gets a turn. Remember we are not branding you for sins here. We are creating ways for you to get what you need out of a relationship.

Relationships are give and take and it is unlikely that anyone truly wants to be on only the giving side. So start planning now what letter you will pick first. Will it be I, E, O, or U? Wait a second - I feel like I am stuck in a version of Wheel of Fortune. Quick buy a vowel and spin again.

One word of caution - make sure each of you knows what the letters stand for. Don't assume that your partner will know what that BJ stands for because you might end up with a BOWL of JELLO.

Passion Flavors (Click her to go to Good Vibrations Webpage)

Today with so many lubes and lotions out there you can find almost any flavor you like. Don't be shy about, this you should dive into finding out which flavors and brands work the best for the two of you. Do you want something that just tastes good for oral sex? of does it need to be more functional as a lube? Maybe you just want to lick it off your partner? You need to do some research on the subject. Don't use lubes that might have ingredients in them that could cause a reaction in the vagina. I would suggest you start your search at Good Vibrations. Good Vibrations is a company that takes great pride in not carrying things that might be harmful to your health. They really focus on the woman and her safety, which is good for both of you. I have embedded the link into the title post. Needless to say you must try something to know if you enjoy it. So get online order some of their products and if nothing else you will have fun trying to see which works and tastes the best. If chocolate is your passion they have pens for writing in chocolate on your partner or another interesting choice could be Devour Me Lickable Body Oil. The body oil comes in flavors that include mint, pina coloda, strawberry, and creme burlee. Make sure to tell them that the couples spot sent you if you order.

Your not shy when you go to Basken Robins and have to try different flavors of all the ice cream! So why should you be shy with your partner about tasting delicious flavors off of them.

Take a nap togehter

There is something special about falling asleep together. Next time you have nothing to do just snuggle down together. Pick a Sunday afternoon or any day you don't have an agenda and just take a nap together. There is comfort when you are in the arms of someone you love. A feeling of safety helps make this a great nap. For me one of the best parts of napping together is touching each other. Not to be out done is the great feeling you get when you wake up and see that special person that is in your life beside you.

Not a napper then let your partner take a nap while laying on you. Watch some sports or a show and just let them dream away. Let your hearts beat together for a while and enjoy the closeness. Caress their hair, rub their back, and hold them tight, because the everyday hustle and bustle of life will soon be back.

(Photo by Janesdead from flickr)

Lets gain some trust today.

Trust is an important part of any relationship. We understand that and when trust becomes an issue relationships seem to crumble. So today I suggest you try a trust building exercise. I want you to do one of your normal chores at home with a twist. I want you and your partner to do it together with the person that normally does the chore blindfolded. The other partner is to without touching you lead you through the chore by giving you instructions. Sounds difficult huh? Well with some practice you will gain trust in listening to your partner. I am sure a first you will think "I can do this blindfolded by myself, I've done it so many times" I am sure you will quickly find out you will need your partners help. Ah here lies the trust building. After you complete your task then it is time to reverse the situation. Now go find a chore you partner usually completes and you guide them.

This exercise will build trust and as an added bonus helps build team work in your relationship. Understand however your chores will take a little longer today. So don't get upset and make sure to laugh at the mistakes that happen. End the session with a thank you to your partner and a big kiss.

Role play may just be a name chage away!

Are you happy with your name? I hear so many people say I hate my name. Well my suggestion is to change it for a day. Pick a day when you and your partner are going out of town shopping or to eat, this helps avoid confusion with people that might know you. Then on your way to your destination decide on a name you would think you enjoy having. If your partner is game pick a name for them also. Then the rest of the day you have to call each other by that name. Yes it's silly but it might just help you step out of your normal personality and allow you to act differently then you usually act. The best part about it is, unless you run into people you know, no one knows the little secret the two of you have.

You could even make it your first date, between the two new people you have become. This is where a little role play might come in to the day. Make up information about you new identity and your background. Be outrageous as you tell your new partner about silly jobs you have had or dramatic events that have shaped your life. You might just find out some wishes your partner might have but be to embarrassed to say when they are their normal self. Who knows the names might even become pet names you use for each other.

Our life's are so busy and jammed with events, sometimes it is good to step outside of ourselves and see the world through someone else's eyes. Even if they are our eyes with just a different name attached.

Birth Control pills the good and the bad (Webmd explains if you click here)

Birth Control pills are wonderful for preventing pregnancy, however sometimes they can cause more problems then you might think. You and your partner need to be very careful when choosing birth control especially if you decide on pills. Once again they are very reliable but some of the hormones that they put into your system can cause some bad side effects. Headaches, pains, nausea, the list goes on and on. One thing that might effect your relationship is they can cause loss of libido in some women. Yes, you heard me correctly, the thing that is suppose to help you feel more comfortable about having sex could actually hinder it.

You and your partner need to monitor the effects after starting a birth control pill. Do they make you upset easier, how do you feel on a daily basis, and again how has her sex drive changed. The only problem is their is not a clear cut answer to any of this. Women love the pill as it gives them more control over their menstrual cycle and everyone reacts differently to different types of pills. So you have to make notes and see if their are any changes and might effect your relationship, when you notice some then you need to speak with your doctor. You might have to go through several different kinds to find one the works for you without having negative side effects.

You just have to do your research on the subject. Check out the Internet there are many documented cases for each type of pill as to the side effects the have caused some women. Look for similarities, but always consult your doctor on these matters. If birth control pills are effecting your relationship maybe you should look at condoms or other forms of birth control that are effective but don't change your body chemistry.

Gentlemen it is also your place to help out. Sometimes you partners needs your help in spotting these side effects. So this is a join effort and could even bring you closer together as a couple.

Kiss and Tell

Society dictates that we are supposed to keep our love lives to ourselves. I believe that to be pretty much true with some exceptions. Some of those might be talking to a professional to get advice or help keeping your relationship alive. Medical reasons also might be a reason that you explain your current state of intimacy. I'm not talking about things that are causing your relationship troubles. Kiss and tell to me is more about communication then blabbing to your best friend about how great or inadequate your lover performs.

Kiss and tell is between the two of you. If you don't do this now, you should start as soon as possible. All it involves it telling your partner what you like and the things you can do without. I am always quick to tell my partner when something feels good, whether we are in the middle of sexual activities or if we are just out somewhere alone or in a group. You have to open up to your partner and share your feelings. I know that I want to make my special someone feel the best they can. To do that I need input and I don't mean hints, I mean tell me damn it. If I reach down and hold your hand during a scary movie and you enjoy that tell me. If I squeeze your bottom at the family reunion and you feel uncomfortable with that let me know, don't get mad - just explain it to me. When we are in the middle of sex and I am doing something great for heaven’s sakes tell me or at least say yes yes YES.

It sounds so simple I know, but some people really have a hard time telling others what they want in a relationship. I have some suggestions to help these people, kiss and tell. For starters work out some sort of signal to let the other person know your feelings. In the bedroom if you are enjoying what your partner is doing then work out a signal for that, like squeezing his/her shoulders or running your fingers through his/her hair. This trigger gets you over that communication hump by avoiding having to say anything. Another way to avoid speaking about your sexual needs is to right them down for the other person to read when you are not around. Leave him/her a card that says I really loved it last night when you... you can even email him/her if no one else as access to his/her email. If you have a toy or specific item you would like to try in bed then order it and have it sent to your partner. Believe me he/she will get the hint.

This kiss and tell works both ways so don't ignore your partner when he/she tells you he/she likes something you do. Take it as a compliment. Don't think of it as shameful. Passion between two people is very special and at least nowadays we are beginning to get that more out in the open. It is proven that sex helps you live longer and feel better and now at least people are telling us we should enjoy it. Thank goodness we are finally out of the stone age.

Women and need oral sex! (Click here to learn more)

I know most of the people out there don't like to talk about oral sex or sex in general. Thank goodness that is changing, with new research and people wanting to get the most out of life. Times they are a changing and if you want to stay in front of the times you need to get on board. Today I want to talk about oral sex for women. Yes we know 99% of you men love to get oral sex and we as men are not afraid to say it. Women on the other are usually not as open about it as men. Why not? Most of the studies I have looked into report that most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Oral sex is a great way to stimulate that area of the woman so it should be a no brainer. Men if you want to treat your woman right you need to improve your oral sex technique. Okay men think about how good it feels when you orgasm, don't you want your lady to feel the same. Two decades ago it only 20% of coupes were having oral sex recent info shows that 70% of couples do now a days. That is quite an improvement and it also says if your not having oral sex you are not in the majority.

So as the great men that we are you need to get information and learn! Today is there is no shame in getting information you can do it without having any one else know with the Internet. I will even link to a site that will help you. Ladies you have to be helpful also. Communication is the key let your man know if you like what he is doing. If you feel a little uncomfortable talking about it set up a sign to show him he is doing something right or wrong. Caress his head if you are enjoying what he is doing or maybe tap his head if you don't like something. Believe me your man will be appreciative to know if he is doing right or wrong. A great book to help is called "The Low Down on Going Down" and I will put it in my amazon favorites on the side.

Pleasure is the key here. You both want to have the bet time during sex and oral sex is a very positive tool. Now what are you waiting on either get busy learning or just get busy. One side note for the ladies orgasms boost the bodies levels of endorphins, which are mood enhancers, which in turn boost the number of lymphocytes that help your immune system. So having orgasms actually help your overall health.