Thursday, April 2, 2009

Shower Talk

Here's a little test in self control. Next time your partner is taking a shower, and you have the time, just slip into the bathroom, sit on the stool and talk with them. It is a big test of your self control because you know he/she is naked on the other side of the shower curtain, and you know you want to peak in on them (at least I know I want to see my wife.). Strike up a conversation about something other than your relationship; it could be about your kids, work, church, or anything other than them being naked. This exercise raises trust as your partner is naked and in a vulnerable state. You are trying to mind your Ps and Qs, and not just ripping open the shower curtain and attacking. To me this feels like when you used to talk on phone as a teenager. You were wondering what the other person was wearing or what he/she was doing at this point of day. Talk to your partner for a while, but make sure that once he/she is ready to get out of the shower and dry off you are out of the area. Give him/her some privacy. If you were in the middle of an in-depth conversation, make sure to pick it back up when he/she is finished. You can also do this activity while your partner takes a bath, shaves or grooms himself/herself in some fashion. Conversation is good for the relationship. If you can focus on the conversation when your partner is completely naked, then you have a sound foundation in your relationship. Special note: Don't try this while you are trying to be intimate. Think of intimate things to talk about during that time. Talking about your mother during sex is a real buzz kill. Focus on the task at hand in this situation. :-)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Text Dirty to Me!!!!

Text Dirty to Me!!!

Dirty talk has been around for years. Maybe even since the beginning of human communication. Today's technology has taken dirty talk to a whole different level. You can now send and receive messages from almost anywhere in the world. I am sure I am not telling you anything you don't know at this point. So with all this technology we can now dirty text our partner no matter where we are. These little texts can be very flirtatious with your partner, and get them juiced up for when you finally get together. Slinging dirty little texts back and forth is a great means of foreplay. There are some problems with this means of communication -- such as someone else may pick up your phone or you could send the message to the wrong person like your mom (Explain that one at your next family gathering!). But, if you're careful you shouldn't have any problems. Now, could the government be listening in on your dirty texting? Oh well, what you and your partner do is your business as long as your not harming anyone else.

If you're a little shy or are really worried someone is going to find out you and your partner are having wild sex, then here is what you can do. You can get together and make a code sheet. Listing several different things you would like to do to each other. Another list of items you might be what you want to use on each other. Give each thing a letter or number code then make a copy of the list to carry in a wallet. Then your dirty text might look like this: I want to #6 you with a K and then rub you with a D. Now the only one that knows what that means are the two of you. It can even be more sexy because you might feel like a secret agent whipping out your decoder sheet and decoding the secret message!!

Some words of caution - make sure you know where each one of you is coming from. Don't dirty text your wife at work only to have her come home and find out that you have the guys over to watch the game. And don't dirty text your husband and get him all hot a bothered so that he races home to find out that you are doing dinner with the girls. This tool is great for getting reactions, but make sure you are ready to follow through on those reactions. Your husband might be able to hide his erection at work and your panties might get soaking wet while at the store, but the purpose of dirty texting is to get your partner home quicker, out of his/her clothes and into your arms. So, if you know when your partner is going to get home, and you know the timing won't be right add a last text that tells him/her the next text you send will be a sign for them to attack or for you to attack.

Again, as always I encourage you to be creative. Make your dirty texting fit your relationship. You can make a list your partner has to pick up on his/her way home from work. Things that might create a mood like massage oil, wine, or a vibrator. Maybe you could set your phone to silent, and when your partner gets home play a little game of hide and seek using texting for clues. The prize being you. If you're really brave, you could send pictures of things you want to do, maybe of yourself in something sexy or of things you want to use in the bedroom that night. The possibilities are endless. Make sure your phone is charged, and your mood is right. You may have some good lovin' tonight.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sharing Your Passions

Sharing your Passions

As you search for an identity as a couple you need to find something that you both can be passionate about. Something you can share and look forward to doing together. I would suggest finding something new for both of you. Your current hobbies are probably already set, and trying to share them might make them a little less appealing For instance, if you have been jogging for years and do about 10 miles each time and you try to get your loved to join you, he/she may not be able to keep up and that would not only dampen your fitness routine, but stress your partner. Explaining every little detail of your hobby to someone who knows nothing about it can get a little intense when you are trying to enjoy it. So the best answer is to find something new to both of you and dive in.

The idea is simple, but the search is on. Trying to find something that appeals to both of you is the challege. Take out some paper and each of you write down some things you always wanted to try or participate in. Do this individually of each other so you are unlikely to "steal" one another's ideas. Once both of you have completed a substantial list, compare the two lists. Look for similar things. Those may not be the exactly the same, but look for similarities so that you can compromise. For example, you might have cycling on your list, while he/she has exercise on his/hers. Ta da! Grab your bikes, and find some trails. His/her list might say he/she would love to try wine tasting, and his/hers might say that he/she would love to just hit the open road and drive. Presto! You hop in the car and fine some wineries (just make sure not to drive while under the influence). I have offered you ways to combine/compromise. This is a great exercise for couples and getting in them mind set of sharing things more.

Here are a couple more examples. He/she would love to work with animals and his/her partner might like to do some voulunteer work. Bing bang, boom. You both find time to voulunteer at the local animal shelter together. Okay I'm gonna one more example. He/she wants to start a blog and his/her partner wants to learn potography. Shazam. You start a blog together. The photography buff takes the pictures while the computer guru posts the comments. Then you sit around and drink coffee and read your blog together. I hope everyone is getting the point. All you have to do is find a way to combine your interests into something you both can enjoy. If you can't find anything else, pick two rival sporting teams and every time they play make it a big deal to heckle each others team - as long as it remains all in fun. Hey you could put a little wager on the game like the loser has to do the dishes for the rest of the week, and of course, you can even get a little naughty with your bet. It's okay after all you are a couple.